The Mess I Made
by GigglesandShizz
Summary: A continuation from City of Lost Souls going into Heavnly Fire. Now that Clary has slipped from his grasp, Sebastian has moved on to the vulnerable Alec, still hurting from his resent split with Magnus and the death of Max, but how will the eldest Lightwood survive being the centre of Jonathan Morgensten's games?


Alec closed the door behind him gently, hoping it was enough to keep Jace asleep in the Infirmary. The blonde haired, yellow eyed, golden skinned shadowhunter claimed he was feeling a lot better, however the silent brothers thought it would be best if he kept it easy for another day or two until they could figure out how safe it would be for him to be up and walking, considering the fact he was filled with heavenly fire, and essentially a human bomb. Not that he minded being waited on hand and foot by his adoptive siblings, but he was certainly getting restless with nothing to kill. Luckily Clary was now able to sneak into his room on a daily basis; it wasn't that Alec wasn't pleased about this, nothing made Jace happier than Clary, but it meant that he wasn't needed anymore. Not that Jace had ever really needed him. So with no more Magnus Alec had spent the last couple of days moping around the library, searching through books to find a way of catching Sebastian.  
He checked his pockets quickly to make sure his seraph blade, sensor and witchlight where all present; not that he was expecting a fight but you could never be too careful. Besides you were supposed to carry them with you at all times, not that his stupid siblings ever followed that rule.  
Making his way down the hall Alec trailed his fingers over the worn out Victorian wallpaper that smelt of must and old things. His head was bowed, looking down at his shoes – black bangs falling slightly into his line of vision. His mother had cut his hair the other day in an attempt to make him feel a bit better. Izzy said a new look made everyone feel better, but clearly Alexander Gideon Lightwood wasn't everyone. He admitted that having his hair shorter felt lighter, and Clary had even said it made him look cute, only for Jace to chuckle behind them and ask loudly if Clary was thinking about running off with his gay best friend.  
Lazily he pressed the button to call the elevator up, since the last time it had been used was to let Clary out of the Institute so that she could run home before her curfew. Alec didn't really blame her mother and Luke, but it seemed a little pointless since she got up at the crack of dawn to come over here anyway, and with Jace in the state he was it wasn't like they could exactly do anything.  
Once the elevator arrived he stepped in and pulled the golden gate tight shut, and in a matter of seconds he started his short descent down. He could remember a time before the elevator when they had first moved into the Institute when he was 2, but after he'd fallen down the stairs and cracked his head open his mother had decided they were too dangerous for a toddler.

He made his way through the old church and pushed open the great oak doors. The cold, winter wind slapped his cheek and quickly turned them pink. Stepping out and drawing his long black coat around himself he wasn't entirely sure what he was doing, maybe he just wanted some time alone, and that was hard to find during the day when the streets where fit to burst. He wanted some time to think about the complete mess he had made of his life. It was very easy for Isabelle to tell him that there where 'plenty more fish in the sea' but she'd never had a problem finding a guy when she wanted one.  
Magnus had consumed so much of his life before, and he had given Magnus everything he had…literally. Now, without him, Alec was left with a huge gap, which seemed to only fill with emotions he had pushed aside; life grief for Max. Originally he'd tried to take his mind away from his deceased little brother, being strong for his parents and siblings, going away with Magnus, and then Jace had been taken…but now his loss was more evident than ever before.  
There was also his father who seemed barely able to look at him now, and Alec knew it wasn't because Robert didn't love him, it was just shame. Shame, fear and ignorance. But that didn't stop it from hurting.  
Isabelle was 16 now and no matter how much he hated it she didn't need him anymore, not that Izzy had ever really needed him, and Jace – Alec sighed, it wasn't even worth thinking about Jace.  
He jumped suddenly as the sensor in his pocket began to bleep lightly, in hindsight he probably should have turned back around, gone home and come back tomorrow with Izzy, but in his worthless state he wanted to do something, something brave to prove to himself he wasn't a complete waste of space. Taking one of the blades from his belt he carried on down the street, waiting for the sensor to spike, which it did as he turned into one of the large, back alleys.

The demon was scuffling around in the garbage, probably looking for scraps of food. It didn't look like much, and if it was that powerful he was sure it wouldn't need to go into garbage bins for food. It also helped that Alec's confidence about demon killing had gone up since, what Magnus had called his 'BAMF', archery attack against the zombified shadowhunters.  
Undeterred by the fact he was alone Alec snuck towards the demon, trying to keep silent and catch it with a sneak attack; in once quick slice he could have its head off. It didn't look anything like a Hydra demon so he was pretty sure this would be safe, and besides demons hearts could be anywhere. If they even had them. He slowed his breath down and took the decaying smell of rubbish and demon, in through his nose. The cold night air around him flickered and caressed his skin; he was always being told he looked 'too pale' but in fact his skin just seemed to light because his hair was so dark. On his tip-toes he had almost reached the demon, when the wind suddenly changed direction, changing his scent straight up the demon's nose. The thing turned around to look at him so suddenly that Alec took a step back in surprise.  
Its ebony black eyes focused in on him and before he had a chance to dodge it was on top him, moving at speeds Alec had never seen before in his 18 years of Shadowhunting. He tried to stab at it with his blade but it had pushed him to the ground, weighing his hands underneath its weight. It started scratching at his chest and face with its long sharp claws, that where dripping with a foul smelling, green liquid. It immediately sent waves of pain up and down his body, the familiar taste of blood filling his mouth to the point where he began to choke and cough. But he fought through it and slowly, but surely, he pushed his blade up through the demon's stomach.  
It cried out in pain once and then it was gone in a colourful explosion of guts and ichor, which fell back on top of Alec and burnt his skin at the touch. The black haired boy winced and fought for consciousness, rolling onto his side and trying to find his phone in his pocket. Cursing loudly that he'd forgotten it he pulled his stele from his pocket and tried to draw healing runes on his skin, but his hand was shaking too much and his blood was pumped full of demon toxins. He cried out loudly in frustration, when he felt cold hands pulling him into someone's lap. He hadn't heard anyone arrive; then again he couldn't hear much of anything except the pounding of blood in his ears. His sight was blurring and all the colours began mixing together.  
"Shhh, Alec its ok, its ok. You're safe now."  
"M-ma…" The figure began to stroke his small, cold hands through Alec's hair to try and sooth him. "Max?" His little brother looked down on him, his too big glasses almost falling off his nose and his large, brown eyes filled with worry and fear. "Am I d-dead?"  
"No, not yet," Max told him, shaking his head. "But you will be soon. Here." From his pocket Max pulled out a stele, Alec wanted to question where his 9 year old brother had found a stele but the blood in his throat cut him off. Max placed one finger on his lips and with the other drew a rune on Alec's stomach, just beneath he gaping wound. Suddenly the pain began to numb and Alec felt himself falling backwards into darkness, but before he could completely go he grabbed on to Max's wrist and begged him not to leave. Max smiled sadly and kissed Alec on the forehead just before he was swept up into darkness.

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